on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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