Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
