i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize