9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
