Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone

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  (404): i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone http://tfl.nu/jdpw
  Replies (44) Good night (2929) Bad night (533)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970

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  (434): So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970 http://tfl.nu/x6yp
  Replies (13) Good night (579) Bad night (3027)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!

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  (902): It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time! http://tfl.nu/2h7j
  Replies (12) Good night (758) Bad night (3524)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.

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  (414): You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door. http://tfl.nu/h0ao
  Replies (20) Good night (5219) Bad night (1059)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.

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  (502): one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why. http://tfl.nu/9zaj
  Replies (12) Good night (5129) Bad night (1218)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.

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  (513): I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand. http://tfl.nu/20vi
  Replies (9) Good night (817) Bad night (3309)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.

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  (570): you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you. http://tfl.nu/anwq
  Replies (7) Good night (869) Bad night (4418)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.

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  (815): It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina. http://tfl.nu/o9qo
  Replies (8) Good night (3775) Bad night (1017)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?

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  (914): He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit? http://tfl.nu/zvq6
  Replies (9) Good night (2614) Bad night (595)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.

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  (609): I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art. http://tfl.nu/g5lr
  Replies (14) Good night (2221) Bad night (735)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.

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  (773): I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day. http://tfl.nu/c735
  Replies (4) Good night (917) Bad night (581)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!

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  (701): He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time! http://tfl.nu/6xbr
  Replies (27) Good night (2065) Bad night (826)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here

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  (859): Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here http://tfl.nu/0vaz
  Replies (9) Good night (647) Bad night (1417)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.

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  (401): Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here? (231): Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds. (401): I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window. http://tfl.nu/vqmu
  Replies (0) Good night (897) Bad night (269)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.

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  (713): Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar. http://tfl.nu/aeu2
  Replies (6) Good night (487) Bad night (296)

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