Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
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Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
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She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!