Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  i just wanna soil my oats bro

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  (949): i just wanna soil my oats bro http://tfl.nu/wcck
  Replies (8) Good night (995) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?

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  (302): is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"? http://tfl.nu/82yu
  Replies (13) Good night (2839) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?

  (812): View more from Indiana

  You're dead to me.

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  (317): Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up? (812): You're dead to me. http://tfl.nu/331c
  Replies (48) Good night (9176) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.

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  (610): I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families (570): That statement alone makes me laugh so hard. http://tfl.nu/jdb3
  Replies (7) Good night (6402) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight

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  (336): I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight http://tfl.nu/7krg
  Replies (8) Good night (1060) Bad night (3589)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.

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  (812): It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus. http://tfl.nu/yin3
  Replies (16) Good night (692) Bad night (2292)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable

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  (810): Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable http://tfl.nu/3me5
  Replies (7) Good night (3325) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.

  (646): View more from New York

  LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES

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  (407): I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair. (646): LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES http://tfl.nu/6j0d
  Replies (6) Good night (1272) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy

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  (904): We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy http://tfl.nu/uv03
  Replies (8) Good night (1406) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.

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  (479): He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish. http://tfl.nu/o2hu
  Replies (0) Good night (559) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Of course. Go big or go home.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You're my fucking queen.

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  (330): Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship? (856): Of course. Go big or go home. (330): You're my fucking queen. http://tfl.nu/faru
  Replies (1) Good night (1017) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend

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  (203): Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend http://tfl.nu/dbv2
  Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing

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  (646): Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing http://tfl.nu/6r92
  Replies (0) Good night (513) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit

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  (856): Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit http://tfl.nu/iumy
  Replies (0) Good night (698) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it

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  (+44): The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it http://tfl.nu/jw2n
  Replies (1) Good night (527) Bad night (270)

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