i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize