I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
