I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
