I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize