The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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