he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
