I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
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I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
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I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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