he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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