So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
