It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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