my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
