Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
