this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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