Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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