You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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