HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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