The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
