That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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