GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
