It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
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Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
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its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.