I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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