the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
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I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
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Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help