Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes

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(504): Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes http://tfl.nu/awap

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(805): View more from California

Soap is not a condiment

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(805): Soap is not a condiment http://tfl.nu/gm1k

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(360): View more from Washington

i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man

(206): View more from Washington

?

(360): View more from Washington

he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!

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(360): i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man (206): ? (360): he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH! http://tfl.nu/k0fi

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(410): View more from Maryland

best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend

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(410): best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend http://tfl.nu/u596

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(301): View more from Maryland

Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.

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(301): Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on. http://tfl.nu/5vnb

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(708): View more from Illinois

High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.

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(708): High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay. http://tfl.nu/m4rp

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(519): View more from Ontario

You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.

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(519): You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do. http://tfl.nu/ggug

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(540): View more from Virginia

you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"

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(540): you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out" http://tfl.nu/77z0

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

How did you break your hand eating pizza?

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Boxes are hard to see rocks through.

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(603): Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza. (1-603): How did you break your hand eating pizza? (603): Boxes are hard to see rocks through. http://tfl.nu/kquz

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(714): View more from California

BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.

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(714): BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that. http://tfl.nu/qgn9

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.

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(814): you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door. http://tfl.nu/6ofj

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation

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(931): I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation http://tfl.nu/adcz

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(816): View more from Missouri

So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta

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(816): So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta http://tfl.nu/t0pt

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(323): View more from California

Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.

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(323): Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud. http://tfl.nu/58eq

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(646): View more from New York

Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities

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(646): Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities http://tfl.nu/7b3i

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