The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.