on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.