just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes