Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.