How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.