Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
