He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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