I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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