i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
