And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
