its not stalking. its research.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
