So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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