just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
