she was so not down for the gang bang
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
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Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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