Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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