i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
