Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Quick, to the slutcave!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
