R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
