end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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