I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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