he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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