Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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