If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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