Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
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One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
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Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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