where am i from again
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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