no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
