drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
