Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
