If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
