it wasn't lemon gatorade
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
