nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
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Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
porn star boner night. come get it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
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I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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