hotel room ftw
we have officially lost it.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
