like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
