Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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