Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize