I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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