Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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