When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
