every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
