my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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