If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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